The Voice Inside My Head

I don't like the voice inside my head today. It's taking me to a very dark place, that I don't usually go to. My heart is telling me to stop...and I will listen to it.
The voice inside my head wants to attack the nurse who let my baby die. It's saying that the mistake is unforgivable. She should have known what to do as a professional. She should not have panicked. As I write this...it's also attacking me because I was here that day. It's telling me I should have been more careful because she was an LPN and not an RN. LPN's were never that good for Jared...nowhere near as good as an RN. It's telling me I should have fought harder for Jared's life. The voice inside my head is not as strong as my HEART....so I will continue to fight this feeling for the rest of my life. If time really does heal all wounds...then it just cannot come fast enough. It's been 8 months too long, and it still feels like a knife went through my heart.